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The Gift of Failure #2020

The Gift of Failure We are the generation that invented over parenting For all our best intentions to protect our children from tripping up rushing to school to deliver forgotten lunches or correcting their homework to

  • Title: The Gift of Failure
  • Author: Jessica Lahey
  • ISBN: -
  • Page: 385
  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • The Gift of Failure By Jessica Lahey, We are the generation that invented over parenting For all our best intentions to protect our children from tripping up rushing to school to deliver forgotten lunches, or correcting their homework to ensure they gain top marks we are in danger of depriving them of the most important lessons of childhood.As Jessica Lahey demonstrates, disappointments, rejections and crWe are the generation that invented over parenting For all our best intentions to protect our children from tripping up rushing to school to deliver forgotten lunches, or correcting their homework to ensure they gain top marks we are in danger of depriving them of the most important lessons of childhood.As Jessica Lahey demonstrates, disappointments, rejections and criticism are actually opportunities in disguise Again and again, the students from her classes who have gone on to become the happiest and most successful adults are the ones who were allowed to suffer the consequences of their mistakes.In this fascinating book, packed with case studies and practical advice, Lahey proposes a gentle but vital shift in the way we parent She urges us to step back and trust our children, and allow them to experience the joy of succeeding on their terms rather than ours.

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      Published :2019-09-03T23:13:17+00:00

    1 thought on “The Gift of Failure

    1. Sure, this book is for teachers in a way, but it s for parents in a bigger way The title says it all, and if you live in a competitive district where grades and sports and status are the be all, end all, you ve come to the right book Too bad you re probably a teacher like Lahey Too bad you re the choir being preached to What we need, then, are willing parents Willing as in to listen If we can get parents that far at least the ones who need this , I expect Lahey s arguments and research can take [...]

    2. Children whose parents don t allow them to fail are less engaged, less enthusiastic about their education, less motivated and ultimately less successful than children whose parents support their autonomy The bottom line of this book written by parent and educator, Jessica Lahey, is don t bail your children out They need to learn from their mistakes They need to learn how to organize themselves, regulate themselves and deal with mishaps in the world they live in now so that they can become high f [...]

    3. I started reading this book at the beginning of the week, two days later I got an email from my sixth grader s math teacher to let me know that he was failing My child was failing mostly because of lack of effort, laziness and poor organizational skills We have offered help and tutors to no avail So when the email popped into my inbox it was the perfect time to make a stand This book helped reinforce our very firm belief that it is up to our children to do the work We can offer help and support [...]

    4. HmmmI liked the first half of this book The author, an educator, detailed the problems kids develop when they have parents who hover and who are overly protective even protecting them from any consequences, absolving them from any wrong doing She also talked about not sending mixed messages to the kids and how easy it was for parents to fine tune their dialogue when talking with children This sounded very positive, well and good.So, what was the problem In the last half, the angry teacher came o [...]

    5. This book is a synthesis of the ideas of many good recent books on growth mindset, motivation, over parenting, etc Because it s not as narrowly focused or research driven, it s easy for parents to read and has many great reminders Whether these ideas are new to readers or not, going against the cultural flow takes encouragement and reinforcement, which The Gift of Failure provides.

    6. Read this book while your kids are young if possible I ve read articles about this topic but an entire book devoted to the subject was helpful than just an article This is something I struggle with daily and have been working on for a couple of years It is NOT easy I sincerely hope I haven t completely ruined my children and can continue to change my ways before it s too late The book offers some ideas and insight into how to let go and makes some great points about letting kids set their own g [...]

    7. A very helpful book I love the quote, Out of love and desire to protect our children s self esteem, we have bulldozed every uncomfortable bump and obstacle out of the way, clearing the manicured path we hoped would lead to success and happiness Unfortunately, in doing so we have deprived our children of the most important lessons of childhood The setbacks, mistakes, miscalculations, and failures we have shoved out of our children s way are the very experiences that teach them how to be resourcef [...]

    8. 4.25 starsA very interesting read about the importance of intrinsic motivation and how we need to give kids responsibility and let them learn through the experience of failure Lots of great ideas I d recommend for any of my GR friends who happen to be parents too.

    9. The thesis of the book is spot on and this is a much needed message for many parents who, out of love, seek to protect their children from any disappointment, frustration, or failure Lahey argues, correctly, that such protection robs children of opportunities to learn, grow, and become competent and confident.I thought the book was worthwhile overall, though if I had it to do over again, I wouldn t have read the entire thing but rested content with what I got out of the first few chapters.Also [...]

    10. I am not sure that there was really anything in this book that I didn t already know, but it was really good to feel validated in my thinking I think as parents we will forever question if we are doing the right things to raise independent, self confidant children who will be happy, productive adults this book shares some great thinking about this This is also a good read for teachers I have to admit that I started reading as teacher, but read most of the book as the mom of an amazing, although [...]

    11. Fantastic book I am determined to let my kids fail The ability to attend to a task and stick to long term goals is the greatest predictor of success, greater than academic achievement, extracurricular involvement, test scores, and IQ Gritty students succeed, and failure strengthens grit like no other crucible p xxi Every time we rescue, hover, or otherwise save our children from a challenge, we send a very clear message that we believe they are incompetent, incapable, and unworthy of our trust F [...]

    12. This is a great and interesting read, and I was amen ing it ALL up and down until she got to the part about applying her theory to recess time or children s free play time She cites one study from New Zealand that found that when teachers stopped interfering in children s free play time at recess, there was less bullying and other positive benefits, but that s pretty much the only scientific data in that chapter The rest seems anecdotal, from rearing her own children and observations at the play [...]

    13. It s easy to like a book that goes along nicely with what you already think, and The Gift of Failure fit the bill for me The idea that parents protecting their children from failure is actually a disservice in the long run resonated with me We ve seen the 5th grade science fair projects that were hatched and completed by parents and that type of hovering is easy to dismiss as helicoptering, but it s harder to let my kids stretch and grow when high school grades are on the line We are currently s [...]

    14. This book was disappointing in a lot of ways I agree with her overall idea, that parents today largely overindulge their children and shield them from every possible negative outcome, and this is a big problem My parenting philosophy is that I generally refuse to do something for my child that he she can do for themselves This, of course, requires that the child has been taught and given adequate preparation training for that particular task Lahey sadly seems to believe that after giving birth t [...]

    15. I basically enjoyed this book, I think some of the advice, particularly about how we undermine children s intrinsic motivation in the pursuit of performance is very good, and something a lot of parents and educators need to hear Lahey is a friendly, engaging writer and pleasant to spend time with And as a teacher, I found her descriptions of difficult parent teacher interactions hilarious.Unfortunately, I don t know that she s always aware how circumstances can differ Lahey is very comfortable t [...]

    16. Thesis kids learn from having room to fail Protecting them from failure is not a long term solution to learning how to become an adult.I just wish this book acknowledged that the crisis of overparenting is limited to certain incomes and cultural outlooks, just like college admissions frenzy books are limited to students applying to ivies in a sense, if you are worried about over parenting, you re in a darn fortunate position to begin with and you are well in America s minority.

    17. I liked this book She had a lot of great points about how the whole point of being a parent is raising a child to leave the house by doing everything for them you instead make sure that you always have your job but a job you don t really want at that point A lot of great things but then she focused a lot on middle school high school and I m just not in that stage of life right now so it got a little long.

    18. One of the best books I have read on parenting and teaching which was recommended by a colleague who was a former principal now guidance counselor I strongly recommend parents, teachers and coaches read this book Lahey shares a variety of trends observed by teachers like herself from N.H where the wave of overparenting has resulted in students who are inflexible thinkers that memorize and regurgitate information they are unable to manipulate in innovative ways Worse, there is a rise in student s [...]

    19. I honestly believe every teacher and parent on the planet should read this book Whether your child is three or 23, whether you teach preschool or college, each and every chapter and anecdote rang true in my bones I have already started radically changing chores homework perceptions around our house and my own attitude about many, many things If you need advice on homework, sports, recess problems, grades, or college applications it s in here

    20. This book was a good wake up call that I m not doing my kids any good when I swoop in and rescue them when things get hard They need to learn to do the hard stuff and sometimes, OK, most of the time they are going to fail But failure is not a bad thing It is through this failure that they learn how to do better the next time The ideas in this book are great, but for me, they are so hard to do It is hard to see my kids upset, or to struggle with something, or to not get time to relax because they [...]

    21. Loved the book from the very beginning Loved all the practical advise and reflections that Jessica gives I am totally convinced that failure really makes our kids resilient and helps prepare them for real life in order to enjoy instead of endure it.All parents who want to start off well the formation of their kids should have this book close at hand.Teachers also.

    22. Highly recommend for all parents teachers Many thought provoking ideas about raising competent and contributing children who understand and value lessons they learn along the way including failure.

    23. Good advice here on letting go Of course, I ve never been accused of being a Tiger Mom I m not even a Soccer Mom I m of a let me surround you with books and you figure it out mom But there were some good common sense tips herein.

    24. An essential practical guide for all teachers and all parents of school age children Themes of autonomy as the goal in development, ideal teacher parent partnership, and the goal of long term success even if it comes at the expense of short term success.

    25. This book is about natural consequences which I agree with but it also lumps all kids in the same boat Some kids don t get natural consequences no matter how many times they deal with them.

    26. Some things I d already heard, some new, mostly on why we need to let kids fail when the stakes are low so they have resiliency when the stakes are high The school gave all us parent reps copies as a present at the end of the year, which I m taking as a hint that as a population, we re not doing too well on this with our kids.

    27. This well intentioned book from a middle school teacher was not anywhere near as good as I expected based on the title It does point out a big problem with parents and educators being unwilling to let children fail However, the solutions the author comes up with are mediocre at best and offer no proof of resulting in improved long term benefits She quotes a few really odd, minor studies about what motivates children basically concluding that you need to just leave them alone but she never follow [...]

    28. Key points to ponder and reinforce The that students are able to come up with their own choices and their own details for an activity or project, the invested they are in the project and the successful particularly if success is defined as autonomous with true learning for the love of learning s sake A self reliant kid is competent and connected to others and that feels great to him and his parents.Children who possess experiential competence are safer because they do not engage in risks tha [...]

    29. I listened to this book over the course of a week and thoroughly enjoyed its message Over so many decades, children have been moved from contributing members of a household helping with farms etc to non contributing members who only have the job to attend school and be a kid and have fun Parents are doing everything for kids from laundry and household chores, and completing homework for them, to getting involved in quarrels with siblings, friends and teachers If parents continue to not let their [...]

    30. I would have loved to have this book about 20 years ago, when my own children were young My husband and I were trying to find our way, based on our own upbringing, with raising our children in an environment where their friends rarely heard the word no from their parents, and asking kids to do household chores was an anomaly We stuck to our guns, with some bloopers, and blundered our way through childhood and adolescence All seems to be well, but we are still on call for advice for our young adu [...]

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