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John Dies at the End #2019

John Dies at the End STOP You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands NO don t put it down It s too late They re watching you My name is David Wong My best friend is John Those names are fake You might wa

  • Title: John Dies at the End
  • Author: David Wong
  • ISBN: -
  • Page: 470
  • Format: None
  • John Dies at the End By David Wong, STOP You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands NO, don t put it down It s too late They re watching you My name is David Wong My best friend is John Those names are fake You might want to change yours You may not want to know about the things you ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future But it s tSTOP You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands NO, don t put it down It s too late They re watching you My name is David Wong My best friend is John Those names are fake You might want to change yours You may not want to know about the things you ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future But it s too late You touched the book You re in the game You re under the eye The only defense is knowledge You need to read this book, to the end Even the part with the bratwurst Why You just have to trust me.The important thing is this The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension John and I never had the chance to say no You still do I m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind None of this was my fault.

    • [MOBI] ↠ Unlimited ✓ John Dies at the End : by David Wong ↠
      470 David Wong
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      Posted by:David Wong
      Published :2019-09-12T03:44:50+00:00

    1 thought on “John Dies at the End

    1. I really loved this book I didn t know anything going into it, other than that it was weird, so that s all I ll give you.I think it s worth your time.

    2. VERY HIPVERY BIZARROVERY CREEPYAND VERY, VERY EVEN BRILLIANTLY FUNNYIN A CRUDE, JUVENILE WAYI read a lot I read everyday and go through a number of books every week Reading as much as I do, I get a real jolly on when I come across a book like this because it is so different from the usual fare I m not sure I can adequately describe the book, but the phrase that seems most apt is brilliantly stupid with surreal, incredibly funny and dude that s gross close behind Something coming back from the de [...]

    3. Put this book down and go read Wong s work at cracked, particularly his piece 6 Things Rich People Need to Stop Saying, a brilliant piece of humor, psychology and economics cracked blog 6 things Back toJohn Dies.Yes, like the book blurb says, in some ways it resembles The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy it s that strange blend of humor that occurs partially because of stacking two incongruencies in a slice of bread and calling it a sandwich The heroes are similar and somehwhat unlikeable the ra [...]

    4. this is possibly the worst published book i have ever read i m sad to admit it was my ex boyfriend s favorite book, so i read it to placate him it took me all of about five minutes to get sick of the author s trite internet meme style wannabe funny bullshit, which is sad because i believe he is the editor of cracked where the writing, though sub par at times, at least typically makes sense and is somewhat enjoyable to read at first i thought i wasn t reading it closely enough to follow the plot, [...]

    5. This book is not for everyone but it is certainly for me.We all know that I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old boy I can t help it Just yesterday my manager was talking to my coworkers and I about her new job at Whole Foods, explaining what she would be doing which is working behind the specialty cheese counter and she spoke this little gem that slipped passed everyone s attention but mine.cally I ll be cutting the cheese all day I slapped my hand to my mouth and trying to hide my gigg [...]

    6. Have you ever played that game when one person starts a story and then another person takes it over, and then another, and thenuntil the story gets to where you can t even remember how it started John Dies at the End is a little bit like that game.Now picture Howard Philip Lovecraft and Robert E Howard playing this game around a campfire after a crazy party Now picture Howard Philip Lovecraft and Robert E Howard smoking pot and drinking cheap booze as they play the game And then they are joined [...]

    7. This book is about shit And insects And humanity.A peculiar combination, you may think I agree But this is a great story that may not have worked in the hands of any other author.My most amazing cousin Danielle has been asking me to read this book for about a year now, and I m really glad I finally picked it up It s packed with meat monsters, immortal dogs, exploding eyeballs with a fake Jamaican cherry on top While all these aspects make for some top level ridiculousness, I think it s important [...]

    8. Juvenile humor was only a feature of this novel, not a bug There were plenty of bugs, tho That being said, it was a light hearted frolic in the woods of shit narnia, and I felt like getting a tattoo of the Pi symbol on my toe Strangely enough, I agreed with the idea of the last dead guy that first person shooter games are training us for something but I just can t figure out what it was better game playing That s probably it This is a Fun Book, ya ll, even if I was expecting something SCARY Not [...]

    9. This was a buddy read with Chelsea An awesome 4.5 stars If you like horror comedy, can handle things that aren t entirely PC all the time but not entirely offensive, either nothing seriously bothered me and I like to think I m pretty damn woke , you re into things that are bizarre and gross and over the top, and you don t mind having an existential crisis then this is a book I ll recommend The story did drag for some time but I never found myself bored, because some new super gripping and utterl [...]

    10. The man shaped arrangement of meat rose up, as if functioning as one body It pushed itself up on two arms made of game hens and country bacon, planting two hands with sausage link fingers on the floor The phrase sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist suddenly flew through my mind Finally it stood fully upright, looking like the mascot for a butcher shop whose profits went entirely to support the owner s acid habit The above quote from the prologue sets the tone very nicely for John Dies at the End [...]

    11. MILD SPOILERS IN THE FORM OF DIRECT QUOTES WHICH DON T REALLY TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THE STORY 5 REASONS THIS MAY BE THE BEST BOOK YOU LL EVER READ 5 It s Literally Lough Out Loud FunnyI know it s not generally cool to slag off other people s book reviews It s their subjective opinion, they re entitled, freedom of speech, blahdy blahdy blah But the number of GR reviews for this book which contain the words juvenile humour and then proceed to dismiss the book s worth on that basis is just ridicu [...]

    12. 2.5So Um Well, that was, erm, something all right So I suppose I should start off by saying it s not quite what I was expecting but, of course, the logical follow up to that would be well, what were you expecting , and I d have to say I m not really sure But that wasn t it But I think one thing I was expecting was a different kind of humor Maybe something along the lines of A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore, or even Army of Darkness with Bruce Campbell.Not to say it didn t have humor It had a lo [...]

    13. This stopped me The cops called us What, they got a ghost they want us to check out Like we re fucking Scooby Doo Premise David Wong and his friend John are kind of ghost busters, they see things that others can t This is because of a drug that they have consumed which is named soya sauce for the lack of a better name and it does look a bit like that apparently I liked it at the start I really did The jokes, the way the horror and humor were combined made me keep on turning the pages There were [...]

    14. 5 StarsThis is a blast of a bizzaro piece of weird fiction It is a blend of horror, new weird and psychological madness David Wong is the name of the author, the name of the narrator, and the name of the main protagonist too Not necessarily all the same This read is not for the faint of heart, nor is it intended for those that like things spelled out for them all nice and clear, and then drawn up with nothing but straight lines The weirdness of this book can be challenging to read and to make se [...]

    15. WARNING The following is not a well balanced, conscientious review John Dies at the End dies before it even reaches the first chapter.The story such as it is revolves around the typical gross out paranormal type activity that made Kevin Smith s Dogma such a success think It s a shit monster and you ve pretty much got the idea of what seems to have inspired this book Within the first 20 pages, the reader is witness to blood, copious amounts of excrement, a flaccid and gratuitous penis, invisible [...]

    16. Simply put, I have never laughed harder at a horror book This is less an attempt by Wong to write horror so much as it is for him to hone his humor chops on a genre that s been whipped to death by too much seriousness It s appropriately gross, rolls out misadventure after misadventure, and ultimately satisfies on multiple levels If you re into horror, you ll likely find it pretty smart If you re into comedy, this on has great edge throughout I don t know if I d recommend it to anyone who was fir [...]

    17. JOHN DIES AT THE END, by David Wong is a book that genuinely has me at a loss for words There s no question that this classifies as bizarro fiction, but other than that I found it quite different in a good way in the beginning, especially The only real complaint I had was that it seemed some scenes went on unnecessarily long This was evident in the second half of the novel A very original work, but one that defies at least MY attempts at a comprehensive review.

    18. Bullet Review Bleh I tried and I tried and I tried to like this disgusting, gory, weird little book, and it just isn t happening I m sure there s an audience for this type of book, but it sure as hell ain t me And, as I ve said before, life s too short to be wasted on books I m not liking.Full Review I have to write a review for this Really And a plot summary How do I even begin to sort through the batsh t weird that happens in this book into a cohesive, comprehensive summary Do I even really wa [...]

    19. Don t let the spoilerish title fool you John Dies At The End is full of surprises Life is full of millions of choices And while some are instantly recognized as life choices like getting married or picking a career path , others are deceptively innocent But even the smallest of choices can have huge consequences That s the hard lesson David Wong learned when he decided to challenge a hack street magician at a concert Had Wong simply rolled his eyes and kept walking, his life may not have turned [...]

    20. There s nothing new under the sun If you re an insecure creative person, you ll hear this phrase quite often Friends will try to build you up, because there s no easy or friendly way for them to say, Maybe storytelling isn t for you, you know Perhaps take up model building or lint collecting I used to agree with There s nothing new under the sun Really, I did Hell, I m even guilty of uttering it once or a dozen hundred times The truth is, that sentence is bullshit There s nothing new under the s [...]

    21. If Harold and Kumar swapped some DNA with The Ghostbusters and were birthed by Hunter S Thompson on a Hitchhiker s Guide through the galaxy, you might end up with something kind of close to John Dies at the End I had ZERO expectations going in to this book I knew nothing except what I read on the book jacket and the fact that Wil Wheaton didn t think it sucked I ended up on a full throttle, high octane, wild, grotesque, hilarious, vulgar, long, strange journey and I m so glad I did.

    22. The last quarter of this book deserves 4 stars, the first three quarters deserve 2.Firstly, the dialogue in this book and sometimes the internal monologue is very wry and generally hilarious Easily its best quality, and kept me reading past the slow parts Unfortunately, the dialogue is often eclipsed by TONS of gruesome and gory visual descriptions, and though they are perfectly tolerable at first they do drag on after a while After the 50th or 60th person whose entrails explode into a rain of b [...]

    23. And, well, that s my story, I said I m sorry that it s so, you know Retarded David Wong, John Dies at the End John Dies at the End, originally published on the Internet, then self published in book form by David Wong, and apparently being republished in September by St Martin s Press, is kind of like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but with five fewer Bennet sisters and six dozen dick jokes While John predates Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by several years, it lacks the air of respectability [...]

    24. Amazing, David Wong has created a fantastic book for the open minded After reading it I then went out and got the Audible version so I could listen to it again on the way to work The characters were original and engrossing The story is a unique breath of fresh air that will make you say WTF consistently as the plot progresses If your in to seamless progression then this book will not appeal to you If jumps, twists and turns in the air Just when you think you have a handle on where the story is g [...]

    25. There are few books that can cause me to laugh out loud in one paragraph, and later in the same chapter have me cringing in real fear or disgust This book accomplished all of this and .John Dies at the End is not a literary masterpiece Its plot has flaws It needs some real face time with a legitimate editor or at least someone likely to catch the numerous typos, misspellings and punctuation errors The humor is abrupt and sophomoric.But despite all that, this book is fun It is thoroughly entertai [...]

    26. I couldn t wait to get my hands on this word of mouth promised a heady, hilarious horror romp Unfortunately, it did not live up to the hype for me Think Bill and Ted s Excellent Adventure meets Ghostbusters or depending on your frame of reference, maybe Ghostfacers a la Supernatural , with Lovecraftian style monsters, a twist of Rod Serling and a dash of psychotropic drugs to really mess you up Sounds promising, no Brilliantly mad Genius even The only problem is it falls way short of sustaining [...]

    27. HILARIOUS is probably the best word to describe this book It actually had me laughing out loud at times because it is so bizarre The narration is funny and at times will even acknowledge how effed up the scene is basically saying I can t actually think how to describe this so just imagine something weird The entire time I was reading this, the story felt very simple and as straight forward as such a wacky story can be When I reached the end I realised just how clever it actually was, everything [...]

    28. I finished this book a couple of nights ago As a side note I m almost halfway through a book titled The Rook Reading these books back to back, I ve got to ask I the only person left in the world who doesn t use the great English f word f k as a common part of my vocabulary Oh wellon to the review.Over all I like this book and I think it s well written I can partially agree with another reader who said that they laughed out loud On occasion I did to I ll be giving a sort of good bad review here T [...]

    29. Terrible Positively dreadful The entire time I read it, with its typos and its tiny font which means the book is probably a good fifty pages longer than it actually is , unwieldy plot and uses of the word retarded than a book actually ABOUT retarded people I had a hunch something was amiss After finishing it, I find it out it was started as a web serial and was originally self published It makes perfect sense, because clearly no editor s eyes have ever been laid on this piece of shit So if you [...]

    30. This book was on a list from which I pull many of my reading selections Every time I noticed this title on that list, there was always a brief pause while I speculated about it Is John the main character Does he in fact die at the end of the book, or at the end of something else Is it a physical death, a metaphorical death, or a spiritual death Is it a complete lie I had many, many other theories, but I knew absolutely nothing about the book itself When the Kindle edition went on sale a month ag [...]

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