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Out of Character: Surprising Truths About the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us #2020

Out of Character Surprising Truths About the Liar Cheat Sinner and Saint Lurking in All of Us Have you ever wondered why a trumpeter of family values would suddenly turn around and cheat on his wife Why jealousy would send an otherwise level headed person into a violent rage What could drive a

  • Title: Out of Character: Surprising Truths About the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us
  • Author: David DeSteno Piercarlo Valdesolo
  • ISBN: 9780307717771
  • Page: 186
  • Format: ebook
  • Out of Character: Surprising Truths About the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us By David DeSteno Piercarlo Valdesolo, Have you ever wondered why a trumpeter of family values would suddenly turn around and cheat on his wife Why jealousy would send an otherwise level headed person into a violent rage What could drive a person to blow a family fortune at the blackjack tables Or have you ever pondered what might make Mr Right leave his beloved at the altar, why hypocrisy seems to be rampaHave you ever wondered why a trumpeter of family values would suddenly turn around and cheat on his wife Why jealousy would send an otherwise level headed person into a violent rage What could drive a person to blow a family fortune at the blackjack tables Or have you ever pondered what might make Mr Right leave his beloved at the altar, why hypocrisy seems to be rampant, or even why, every once in awhile, even you are secretly tempted, to lie, cheat, or steal or, conversely, help someone you never even met This book answers these questions and , and in doing so, turns the prevailing wisdom about who we are upside down Our character, argue psychologists DeSteno and Valdesolo, isn t a stable set of traits, but rather a shifting state that is subject to the constant push and pull of hidden mechanisms in our mind And it s the battle between these dueling psychological forces that determine how we act at any given point in time Drawing on the surprising results of the clever experiments concocted in their own laboratory, DeSteno and Valdesolo shed new scientific light on so many of the puzzling behaviors that regularly grace the headlines For example, you ll learn Why Tiger Woods just couldn t resist the allure of his mistresses even though he had a picture perfect family at home And why no one, including those who knew him best, ever saw it coming Why even the shrewdest of investors can be tempted to gamble their fortunes away and why risky financial behavior is driven by the same mechanisms that compel us to root for the underdog in sports Why Eliot Spitzer, who made a career of crusading against prostitution, turned out to be one of the most famous johns of all time Why Mel Gibson, a noted philanthropist and devout Catholic, has been repeatedly caught spewing racist rants, even though close friends say he doesn t have a racist bone in his body And why any of us is capable of doing the same, whether we believe it or not A surprising look at the hidden forces driving the saint and sinner lurking in us all, Out of Character reveals why human behavior is so much unpredictable than we ever realized From the Hardcover edition.

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      David DeSteno Piercarlo Valdesolo

    1 thought on “Out of Character: Surprising Truths About the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us

    1. Overall, this was a frustrating book It gave a lot of interesting information, but it failed to answer the specific question it raises in the title phrase How you explain why someone acts in a way that seems out of character They give lots of possible reasons, but they don t seem to recognize the fact that most people do, actually, behave fairly consistently over time, and it s when that changes that people are surprised.The authors disagree with the old idea that character develops and then is [...]

    2. Disappointment is the product of an incongruity between expectations and cold hard reality You would think that authors, especially if they were in the business of analyzing human behavior would be attuned to that fact or perhaps it is an ironic example of what the book was supposed to be about Whatever the case, as you have no doubt already pieced together, I ultimately did not care for this book.This book purports to be about surprising behavior where we as individuals can deviate not only fr [...]

    3. Psychologists get to play so many fun tricks on their subjects This was a quick and informative read that has reminded me to take the time to examine the surrounding circumstances and to not be so quick to judge others.

    4. Dueling insects in your mind Grasshopper vs AntWho should you listen to when it comes to moral decisions and attitudes that constitute your character That little angel hovering over your shoulder or the miniature devil whispering in your ear According to Desteno and Valdesolo, these aren t event the correct metaphors to use as they describe traits as erroneously having some type of good or bad essence Rather, the authors argue that a apt metaphor is the grasshopper and ant The grasshopper is th [...]

    5. Taming the Tiger within us all We re all too familiar with the fairytale turned horror show of Tiger Woods For years, fans admired Tiger not only for being the greatest golfer of his generation, but also for seeming to be such a virtuous father and dedicated husband But, this public image was instantly shattered when his multiple indiscretions were discovered We all wondered, who is the real Tiger Were his morally questionable actions evidence of a deep seated character flaw, or could there be a [...]

    6. Out of Character Suprising Truths about the Liar, Cheat, Sinner and Saint Lurking in All of Us by David DeSteno and Piercarlo Valdesolo is a fascinating examination of what creates character, how we define character, and what it means to act out of character DeStano and Valdesolo give examples from recent and not so recent news stories where public figures seem to act in ways that don t make sense given what we know of their character or public persona anyway They intersperse experiments done as [...]

    7. This book makes the point of trying to explain why otherwise good, honest people act out of character, at least the character that people perceive them to be Essentially, the truth is that as we are all human, we are in danger of acting out of character , for we are all capable of doing things that we know are wrong With examples of tests done with people in laboratories, the authors show that the difference between doing good and doing evil is sometimes determined by circumstance, sometimes by [...]

    8. This book was another hash mash of studies, none of which were novel to a Psychology student like me There were no surprising truths in it and neither did it answer the question it raised at the beginning Neither did it justify its position on the grey side of people rather than all black or white.The book is well arranged, yet manages to be really boring And that is simply because it offers nothing new It sets examples, which are very routine, for e.g the Bill Gates Monica scandal, and then doe [...]

    9. It was a book that somehow made me cold sweat and nodding at same time.DeSeno used Grasshopper vs Ant to represented the impulsive vs stable calm personalities inside of each individual.What made Eliot Spitzer, Tiger Woods who used to have positive image to actually do such opposite behaviors and ruined their future Why men cheated their wives while they know they would lose everything if caught DeSteno explained that it was like a high profit gambling, when the rewarding could be so attractive [...]

    10. The answers it gives we are both Saint and Sinner and we are influenced by far than we can ever imagine The lesson is gentle with yourself and others because the human condition is definitely grey.

    11. Its easy for popular books on psychological science to get lost in the mix, especially when there are no well known journalists as co authors Scientists are often horrendous as marketing and publicity and thus, their work is often at the mercy of a serendipitous, high profile book review Here s hoping that this book gets a platformThe research studies described in this book are playful, creative, and informative How can we test whether, when, and why moral hypocrisy occurs What situations pull g [...]

    12. The classic view of character and moral judgment is that we ve got an angel and a devil sitting on each shoulder, whispering conflicting advice Using willpower, we shut down the devil and choose good, and eventually, once that virtuous voice won out, it would become etched in your psyche and your character would be set forever p 10 Thus, as Plutarch said Character is a habit long continued But DeSteno and Valdesolo describe this as fundamentally incorrect As for angels and devils First, the duel [...]

    13. My feeling is that much of the behavior that is discussed here as apparently unconscious and mysterious cannot have gone unnoticed by thinking people in the past And in fact, it hasn t To take one example we are told in the chapter about compassion and cruelty that soldiers are taught the seemingly purposeless routine of marching and drilling in order to create a sense of unity, purpose and identity Then, when the time comes, they will not only act cohesively but also aggressively against the ot [...]

    14. A psychological study of why good people sometimes do bad things These two rather witty professors run through a series of tests to gauge the reaction of primed students and use that information to determine why people do what they do It s interesting to see how people can be persuaded to act by being primed Students act selfishly, generously, or out of character just by being primed with some information or situation In some cases, students have to watch a boring documentary while the other wat [...]

    15. The author David DeSteno has written a book that tells the reader about the mind and how it can process things in different situations The reader can learn about things that they haven t even thought of The book talks a lot about negatives thoughts or actions people might have take Desteno starts off the book with something that everybody knows the angel and devil on your shoulders He uses this to tell you about a person s conscious and how they slowly influence themselves to make a certain deci [...]

    16. A great pop psychology read for the interested layperson Here are a few choice lines that spoke to me The best way is to envision character as a fluctuating state, not a permanent trait It s not a static attribute like blue eyes or broad shoulders it s a state that is always shifting, trying to find the right balance between competing psychological mechanisms Hypocrisy isn t so much a matter of violating your own moral beliefs as it is of shifting your moral beliefs to suit your needs and desire [...]

    17. This book presents a different way to look at the decisions we all make which others then look at and use to make assumptions about our character Most of us are familiar with the angel devil scenario where these imagined opposing forces represent a good decision bad decision, each tempting us to tip the scales in favor of good or bad The authors of this book suggest that a better way to view our choices, is not the angel devil scenario good vs bad but rather wether we are acting in ways that hel [...]

    18. I read this in a day and I rarely do that, reading a whole book in day I was completely fascinated The authors thesis is that character is not a fixed state, but rather a fluid and changing one, influenced by emotions, history, etc I couldn t put it down Most interesting to me were the experiments it s hard to assess character in a lab a point which the authors admit , but in the specific instances in the book, the fabricated situations produced revealing results They invoked jealousy, pride, co [...]

    19. The authors had an unconventional method and structure to their book It almost put me off completing the book, but I m glad I finished reading the book In several parts of the book I had reservations on the experiments the authors conducted or presented they mostly relate to observations on their design.The authors wanted to drive the idea that observation and attention to the factors influencing character are a critical step in understanding what is character and how it plays out at the risk of [...]

    20. A fascinating book about the nature of human character Written by two physiologists, it takes a scientific look at the age old question of whether our character is a stable set of traits Through clever experiments concocted in the lab, the surprising results showed that our character is flexible, and what determines it are are sets of psychological mechanisms competing to drive our behavior It is about finding a perfect balance between the two competing sides In the book, the scientists used the [...]

    21. How I feel about this book has nothing to do with the book and everything to do with me reading too many of these types of books If you haven t read any books on how we make decisions, how we fool ourselves, how our brains work, why people cheat and lie, etc, then you may like this book and learn a lot Especially if you like to read books written by the scientists who did a lot of the studies themselves and can describe the methodology they used If, however, your husband knows when you derisivel [...]

    22. Think you re not like Tiger Woods, Eliot Spitzer, or Mel Gibson, think again The author provides an interesting look into character and the competing psychological mechanisms that influence our behavior Through a series of controlled experiments he demonstrates how subtle manipulations of contexts or situations really can produce unexpected and wild behavior in all of us A quick, insightful, and thought provoking read You ll learn a little something about yourself, but you might want to stay awa [...]

    23. The main message of the book is that our character is not fixed Contrary to popular believe, it is highly flexible and prone to changes due to shifting contexts Meaning, no one is simply a saint or sinner Every individual is a combination of complex moral forces In order to influence our character we have to start thinking about it as a set of psychological mechanisms competing to control our behavior Then, when we notice the context, we can start controlling that competition in our favor We nee [...]

    24. This book is an excellent introduction to human instinct or biases shaped by evolution Author s presentation of continuing battle between ant long term interest and grasshopper short term gain is quite clever He goes on to specific cases such as, lust vs love, pride vs hubris, and compassion vs cruelty Each chapter starts with a real world example, followed by a few studies on the subject Having read a few books on behavioral psychology, I am aware of many of the material described in the book T [...]

    25. While a wonderful introduction to the psychological aspects of human character and how it is formed through context, I had hoped it would have a bit meat in exploring specific strategies for combating biases and developing solid character traits that can stand the temptestuous emotional brain Rather character was flatly defined as a flexible concept that can find any human on either side of it at any point in time The end of the book mentions a RULER method that has worked for elementary school [...]

    26. This book is a worthwhile read for the amazing research studies it presents, however, the commentary wasn t particularly helpful The authors assume that behaviour is determined completely by selfish motives increasing survival depending on your spiritual beliefs, you may disagree Again, though, fascinating research and I would recommend the book As always, read critically and consider the moral implications the authors make.

    27. View character as continuum on a scale instead of categorical Authors mentioned many factors that may affect our character at different time They attempted to persuade us that we can still have control over our character, however, the only effective method is to realize and understand the factors that might influence us Providing a techniques that can applied in every situation is nearly impossible.

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